"My question is:  Simply put, what do you do when, year after year, you cannot find any spark left within your soul?  Being 48 years old, I have reached a point in life where the challenges have made me soulfully weary.  I have withstood them, while enduring the "dark night of the soul."  But, now I am simply tired, and it is a weariness that does not go away after rest or vacation.  It is so deep that I carry it with me all the time.  Certainly, I have lifted this to my God -- but the situation stays the same.  I just want to "feel" again -- to be able to "respond" to the world again.  I am just tired of feeling emotionally thirsty."

"In reference to your question above.

I know how you are feeling.  It is not your soul that is weary but it is the just the "dark before the dawn" to your feeling mind.  Your human life will never find the bliss that is inherently yours until you suddenly awake to your true identity.  The kingdom of God is within you.  Not in your thinking brain but within the depths of your being.  God is being ALL and in that ALL is YOU.  Nothing is separate and apart from God.  You are learning not to let mere human thoughts and feelings determine your reality.  It is an uneasy feeling but you can feel me talking to the "other side of your mind".  What I am directing "my being" to is the Real YOU, free from the fear, weariness and negative anticipation of a new birth.  I am here with you to hold your hand as you awaken to the life that has always been you.  You have just forgotten where you came from and who you really are.  Listen to the "still small voice" and don't be led to believe in the "appearances" that form your concept of your present existence.  This is a doorway to life free from all the weariness.  It is more real than that weariness.  The light you see within is the way to open the door.  As it grows brighter, its strength will open it for you.

If you feel led to continue our communication, please write me back.  I am always here for you.

All is well,

Bob Gupton"

"My question is:  I feel that evolving spiritualitiy, and reaching the true Godhead in yourself is an evolution process, so to speak, far from the realization of some. I truley belive, that, humaniness is only a spect of the beginning. It may sound silly to say this, but, I think some people take life too seriously. Meaning, it is so much more, it is like this humanness is just a kintergarten course in the beginning of our evolving spirituality of oneness with our creator.
However, I wonder sometimes, because I don't feel badly about death, even of love ones as being such a final stage, i don't feel the hurt that some feel, is there something wrong with me. Should I have more emotions? I just do not find the body as being that important, although it is all we are suppose to know for this period of time. Have I gone forward or backward?"

In reference to your questions above:

Your perspective on life and death is exactly the way it is spiritually. I have said for years that it didn't matter if I lived forever or died tomorrow. Why should one fear their death when they didn't fear their birth? It is impossible to feel badly about someone else's death when you know the real truth about life. I have been told I was unfeeling even though I have always tried to hid my lack of sadness about others' deaths. So, you are not wrong about knowing death is but another birth. Death is simply a transition. To be free from the confines of human thought and all its doubts and limitations is the final evolutionary process of the human life. But some, because of the familiarity of things, are afraid of any kind of change they don't understand. People just get accustomed to their lack of perception and actually fear having any higher or greater understanding. I personally do not measure Truth by the belief, concepts, fears, and doubts of the general population. People like kindergarten so much, even with all its limitations, that they want to stay there for eternity.

You have not gone backward or forward. You are just being as God is being you. To measure one's self in relation to the thoughts and feelings of the general population only puts one in a concept of something more important than the Truth that you realize. The question has always been, "why doesn't a greater number of others have this understanding in the human existence?". There is only ONE. The perception of the individual expressions of God as human beings doesn't mean "all flowers should be roses", if roses are your personal favorite in your experience. Humanly, this higher perception has just as many negative effects on the human experience as the lack of it. So, the secret is "knowing your real identity as something other than the human experience". When one wakes up to the realization of what life really is, they must "be in the world but not of it". When I find myself being affected by the emotions and irrational actions of others who feel it is my responsibility to be and act as they want me to, my emotions, whether they be good or bad, as seen from a higher plane than being human", lets me see that I am not limited to the unimportant mental actions of my brain. I just smile, as one would smile at a child who thinks I should understand their scribblings on paper as the words and sentences they have not yet learned. I don't need the acceptance that most need to help me realize who I am. Why would anyone want a mirror that had other people's faces in the reflection? So, to sum it up, as best I can with only words and sentences; you are being in the world but not of it or confined to it. As for your lack of emotions; use them as an actor would, if they will help communicate what you need to express. But remember, the act of not feeling emotion frees you from the imprisonment of it. I see that you really don't require those emotions to know what you know and be who you know you are. There is nothing wrong with you at all. If you feel a sense of lack from the lack of emotions, it is to please others. This is why I said act with emotions if necessary. "The world is a stage and all the men and women merely players".

I am grateful for your communication. You have given me much as the bubbling spring of my inspiration flows in such beautiful wonder from your questions. You see, I am not a teacher because no one ever taught me what I now know and have. Your question had such beautiful answers in it and I was fortunate to know them with you at this time.

All is well,

Robert Gupton